Sunday, January 23, 2011

make-up & be happy -thats my name

i feel like thats the definition of me.
with all that is going on in my life right now. every single problem i have. every tear i want to cry. i know someone has it worse than me right now. 
and today (well yesterday) i was working, and a lady of my moms age walked into the store. its been months since i’ve seen her so i enthusiasticly asked her hows she doing. she replied with answers filled with sadness. i was deeply touched -the fact that i am only 21 and yet shes in her 50s in front of me spilling her guts. and that for me is like putting your heart on the line. anyway she told me she felt depressed her body hurts and so on. and i held her hands and looked her into her eyes and told her “you’re stronger than you believe and sooner than you know it, things will be fine. this is just a flat tire, youll learn, so you can teach, and protect everyone else. this is what we were put on the world for.” i reminded her of her beauty, and how things will be better just around the corner, i also made sure i told her, i might not know as much as her but i suffered through depression too. cause its gonna be chinese new year! 
she asked me for my number, and invited me to spend time with her and thanked me countless times,  but i feel like i should thank her even more. because she proved me right were all stronger than we believe. im stronger than i believe. being able to put aside the break up & all the confusion that comes along with it, my big ol secret thats super scary and confusing as well, and all the effort im putting into everything to try to make everything a bit better. just to hear her out, and make her feel alive again for however long my words has an effect on her -makes me so happy. like look ‘ma for once i didnt screw up. even though i screwed up everything before. :’) by talking to her, helping her out -it made me believe in myself more. and its something that just happens you know. i cant really explain why its such a great feeling -but it just is. 
lots of love and great feelings!
-make-up & be happy (thats my name)

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